Bells will be ringing...

Well, thank goodness school is finally out for the break and I'll have a minute to work on this. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to write about our horror movie binge around halloween. We watched some really awesome stuff and some truly terrible stuff. I'll probably go back and hit the best and the worst when I find the time. Meanwhile, we've watched some really cool stuff and have been trying to watch some christmas movies (the insane cheesiness of the genre is making it kind of difficult: you just can't watch some of this stuff sober). Also, we discovered that we can watch netflix downloads on the xbox, so we've been watching a lot of really terrible stuff. I can't seem to motivate myself to brave the cold and go to the video store.
Last but not least, I'll have my reading lists up for my classes this last semester soon if anybody wants to take a gander.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch

I just love it when the title of a movie has absolutely nothing to do with the movie itself. You have to imagine that boardroom meeting or whatever. The hollywood execs are sitting around going, "We can't just call it Halloween III. It has to have a subtitle."
"Oh yeah. Totally."
"How about Season of the Witch?"
"Sweet! That sounds totally scary."
"Will we have to put a witch in it though?"
"Nah. It'll be fine. Don't worry about it."

I really, really love it when a sequel has absolutely nothing to do with the movies before or after it. That's right, Michael makes no appearance whatsoever in this piece of crap. That said, it was extremely amusing. This is the kind of crappy that gives crappy movies a good name. It was hilarious. There were mind control schemes and bugs and lasers and a sinister small town AND pieces of rock from Stonehenge. Wow.

2 out of 5

Meet the Robinsons

This movie was shockingly funny for a kid's movie. I have three words for you: rat pack style singing, dancing Mafia frogs. Okay, that's more than three but you get the picture. Unfortunatly, you are required to have ADD to really appreciate the awesomeness.

3 out of 5

Alive or Dead

I'm really glad I get to start this off with the second worst movie I have EVER seen (the first being Shadows of Death). I, unfortunately, am responsible for picking this movie out. In my defense, we were looking for a movie so bad it's funny and this looked hilarious. Too bad it turned out to be so bad it was unwatchable. The filming was bad enough that we were confused as to what was happening most of the time. The cover has nothing to do with the movie: it shows a yellow schoolbus and a man with two morning stars on a chain when the movie actually has a black schoolbus and a guy with a chain (no morning stars involved). The majority of the movie consisted of people wandering around looking at things and not saying anything. There were a few magic moments, though. Five minutes from the beginning, the main character decides to masturbate with a cell-phone charger while driving and having phone sex with her boyfriend. Later on in the movie, she cheers up another character by saying that they'll go clubbing after they escape the cannibalistic weirdos chasing them through a castle. Wow. Don't watch this movie. Please.

0 out of 5